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The Traveling Oncologist and the Wages of Sin

Editor-in-Chief

Oncologists are generally regarded as a rather sober bunch, not a surprising assumption given their work. However, we do have fun at times. Consider this story.

Joe Bertino, my mentor at Yale 30 years ago (Fig. 1), has remained one of my closest friends. We have a strong common interest in pharmacology of anticancer drugs, as well as a keen interest in golf and other sports. We tell each other that we are gifted athletes. Sometimes our trivial pursuits get us into trouble.

View larger version (116K): [in this window] [in a new window]   Figure 1. Mentor, Joe Bertino, and student, Bruce Chabner, at Yale, 1970, with Barbara Morrison.

On Monday evening, after dinner Joe and I, along with two "observers" from Memorial Sloan-Kettering, walked over to the Holland Casino for a round of blackjack.

You must understand that Joe and I approach blackjack as an extension of our competition in sports. Sure, we want to win money, but it is more than that. Blackjack is athletics on green felt cloth, a competition of endurance, instinct, and intellect. We have different wagering systems. I bet a standard conservative amount. When I win, I always put aside my winnings and repeat my same bet. When I lose, I double my bet until I eventually win. If you calculate, this system will always win back your losses, plus one chip (the 2 factoral rule), provided your pockets are deep enough to keep chips on the table. On the other hand, Joe believes in playing by instinct. He rides a hot streak, and doubles his bet when he wins. We have performed the ultimate controlled trial in past visits to Amsterdam. Two years ago we put our systems to the test. We each bet on the same series of hands played by our friend Josh Fidler (a blackjack maven). I won while Joe lost. However Bertino, like the FDA, wants more than one trial, so we returned to the table in Amsterdam for the showdown last month. The house checked our passports, ran our names through their list of criminals, cheats and sharks, and let us enter.

The evening proved to be a glorious affirmation of the earlier trial. I doubled my money while Joe ended up with empty pockets. Joe's colleagues, too highly respected scientists in their own right, were clearly impressed. Revenge for Boston, which always loses to New York. However Joe's revenge was just around the corner.

On Thursday I arrived at the airport to check in for my flight. "Passport please" said the KLM clerk. She stared at my little blue book stamped USA. "This is a woman" she said, "a blonde woman". She did not seem the least surprised but seemed eager to hear my explanation. Apparently, anything can happen in Amsterdam. My worst nightmare. I stared at the picture. Sure enough, Joe's colleague, Kathy Scotto. How could I have exchanged passports with Kathy? How do I explain this to my wife? Aha! Kathy was with us at the Casino! The passport check, the mad dash to the gambling table. I called Kathy's hotel. No answer. I jumped into a cab, found Joe at the meeting, and he assured me that Kathy was at the hotel writing a paper. We took a cab to the hotel. At the hotel, the clerk said that Kathy had gotten my message and left for the meeting. We returned to the meeting. No Kathy. But a phone call at the registration desk. Kathy was looking for me at the airport. Finally, an hour later we find Kathy, at KLM, howling with laughter, waving my passport. I am greatly relieved, thankful that I don't have to stay in Amsterdam forever, doomed to gamble away my dwindling fortune. Someone said (Kathy, Joe?) "The wages of sin." Joe said, "I guess all those cab fares must have eaten up your winnings, ha, ha, ha." I didn't mind. The controlled trial was validated. I'd be happy to give any of you lessons regarding my blackjack system. Remember: Hang on to your passport and double when you are losing.

Bruce A. Chabner, M.D. Editor-in-Chief

©Arthur T. Skarin, M.D. Motif #1, Rockport, Massachusetts

PUBLISHER'S NOTE "A thing of beauty is a joy forever; its loveliness increases; it will never pass into nothingness." From Ode on a Grecian Urn by John Keats (1795-1821) We are proud to present the artistic vision of Arthur T. Skarin, M.D. Should any of our readers wish to acquire his art photos, Dr. Skarin may be contacted via fax (617-632-4379) or e-mail (Arthur_Skarin{at}dfci.harvard.edu).

 

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